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I am about to drop out of school because I am overwhelmed, not getting support from my husband, and can't balance everything. I have tried planners, schedules, & so forth too. I work full time, go to school part time ( 2-3 classes at a quarterly very fast pace ), I have loans of over 27,000 already, I can't pay for school my husband wont let me. I don't get much financial aid to cover a whole class much less a quarter. I can't afford software either. My husband makes good money, we live in a house renting, and we have two children. I am finding myself trying to manage work, school, our kids, and the home all by myself and finally have reached my limits and feel depressed. I need some advice on to how to start fresh, how to get my husband to realize his expectations of me are unrealistic to do it all on my own and have a nice meal, kids happy, school work done, and be in the mood for sex at the end of the day after working along with these responsibilities. I work 9 1/2 hours as a nanny for a family our age of one and one on the way, very expensive and orderly home. It is depressing because I try hard to manage it all but feel alone doing it. If one thing is done another isn't done or half done. Now I feel depressed . Any advice?”

4 replies so far...

  • Is dropping out of school really going to solve the root problem here? Will that change your husband's unrealistic expectations and restrictions? My advice would be to seek marriage counseling.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Allison on 29th December 2010

  • Mrs. Do It All,
    I am very sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time right now. I just want to start out by saying that I am not, and never have been married so I don't fully understand the responsibilities that come along with being a wife. But, i do know that communication is a foundation stone to a successful marrige. Have you and your husband had a meaningful, direct talk about this situation? Tell him you are burning out. If you are financially able to survive on one paycheck and you are deadset on finishing the schooling then do so, but, if you need both incomes maybe cutting back on classes or even dropping out temporarily would be of benefit. but please, don't let extra education trump your family. i hope this helps.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by kylie on 9th December 2010

  • Would it be possible for you to stop working for a short time and finish school full time? I have always thought trying to manage school, work, and a family was insane. I know people do it all the time, but something has to give, and it sounds like you have mentally reached your limit. If your husband makes good money and you can afford it, I would take some time off and try to just finish school, it will be worth it in the end. If you have to work right now I agree with the other post to try to only take one class at a time, that may be more manageable. There are only so many hours in a day, I think we all have to realize that and be realistic.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by ne on 6th December 2010

  • I guess I don't understand when you say you work full time but your husband won't let you pay for school. Why are you working full-time if you aren't allowed to make spending decisions?

    Is there any way you could take one class at a time for while? Freeze meals in advance or purchase meals semi-prepared, so your dinners are not a huge chore?

    I have found vitamin D (liquid supplement) to be a great energy and mood booster.

    As for managing your husband's expectations, what happens if you calmly and simply say "no"? Everyone needs to say it sometimes.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by SKL on 5th December 2010