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My daughter is 15 months old and is in daycare because both my husband and I work. We moved right after I got pregnant, so I didn't work for those 9 months, plus the first 10 months after my daughter was born. My daughter has only been in daycare and I have only been working again for 4 months. I'd say she is better adjusted than I am; I still get sad when I think about all of the things that I am missing with her. At the same time, I remember how isolated and down I felt when my only social interactions were with the girl at the grocery check out. Most of the time I'm okay with my decision to work. Most of the time I feel empowered, but other times I feel overwhelmed by my schedule and guilty. I get home, make dinner, workout while my husband feeds my daughter and himself, then eat and bathe my daughter and put her to bed. Then I clean up the kitchen and its time for bed. Where was my "me" time? Where was my quality time with my daughter? I am hating my role of late because my daughter blatantly prefers my husband to me. When we pick her up at daycare she runs right by me to him. She cries when I try to do things with her (reading, coloring, playing) until daddy comes. I have ALWAYS been the one to do the bath, teeth brushing, story/song, and bed routine, but tonight she sobbed until her father came in to hold her. What gives? I feel like I do it all, but she'd rather be with daddy than mommy. My feelings are so hurt. Somebody throw me a rope, I'm drowning here.”

2 replies so far...

  • yes, listen to Jengray. Kids are fickle! and don't take it personal - meaning no matter who the mommy is, she wants daddy right now. One thing to remember is that your daughter can pick up on your stress, muscle tension, etc, and she doesn't understand why, but maybe daddy is more 'cuddly' right now... Just love your daughter, just like your love for your husband didn't decrease when your daughter was born, her love for you hasn't changed either. Just love her! :)

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by golfwidow1 on 6th March 2011

  • Oh, I know it's so hard for you right now, but babies are fickle! I went through the whole "Mommy is chopped liver" thing with two of my four kids, but it didn't last. I know it's hard to hear when you're in the middle of it, but this too shall pass. Hang in there!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by jengray on 2nd March 2011