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I just went back to work yesterday, after being home for a year on maternity leave with my second son, my other son is 9yrs old. However things have changed quite a bit at work new management new responsiblities and leaving my son for 12hrs a day is making me feel guilty and sad. I called in on the 2nd day of being back to work to say my son was sick and couldn't make it in, he actually did have a bad cough but probably should have gone to work i guess, but I feel overwhelmed with housework now and being away from my son(s) and just the change is scary I am not sure I even like my job at work anymore.My husband says just go to work we need the money don't worry about if I don't like it or not, we just need money he works fulltime too, I am scared, depressed and don't know what to do now I feel like just staying in my house all day everyday now. I am really scared of the change what should I do is this normal will it get better?”

2 replies so far...

  • I have been there, too, although I didn't get a year off before sending my kids to daycare. You were lucky! It's so, so hard to adjust to working again. I can also relate to not even liking your job anymore -- I totally felt that way. Because I had found a BETTER job -- being a MOM! rewarding! fulfilling! Not like my desk job which just felt like drudgery. :( Let me tell you, even though the job market is crummy, it might be worth it to change jobs if you can find something you might like better. I was so lucky that an opportunity came to me when my baby was 1 -- the work is more fulfilling and closer to home/daycare. I still feel like it's work, but it's not AS bad. Think about it. I will be praying for you. It's a very hard time and sometimes you'll cry - it's normal - but you will make it through and your baby will be FINE. (hope the cough gets better) ((((hugs))))

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by el-e-e on 11th November 2011

  • Dear Superlady,

    I completely understand how you feel. I have gone through all of this when i had my son in 2005 and had to take up a job when he was 6 months old. It was extremely difficult for me too to concentrate on my work and to fight the feeling of guilt. And worse for me, my in laws moved in with us so my mom in law started taking care of my son full time and it got so bad that she wouldn't let me take an independent decision for my son without my hubby being there. But it all got better with time. As the kid started getting older, i got him to playschool at 2 and 1/2 yrs and now he is in reception and all grown up. So please do not worry, its absolutely normal to feel the way you feel and yes, it does get better. Any change in our life is not easy and it takes time to adapt to every situation. And try to make the older son also help u with some chores and while you are busy, he can baby sit his brother. This way you will see, your kids being in sync with you will give you a lot of confidence and once the kids understand your reasons to set rules, they will respect you and this in turn will make you very happy. I know, its a long fight, but take one day as it comes. Remember, we are all here for you whenever you need to talk out things.
    Take care and relax. Have faith in yourself and give yourself some time, that's all you need.

    Love,

    Archie.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Archie on 10th November 2011

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