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Will my 8 week old baby feel like i dont love her when i go back to work full time?”

12 replies so far...

  • Ask yourself this...what does my baby usually do doing the day? The answer to that is probably poop, eat, and sleep. Then more eat, sleep, poop, sleep... She will not hate you cause you missed some pooping, eating and sleeping. She will remember if you can't keep the lights on cause you don't have an income. :-)

    You will always feel some guilt for something or other...she is 8 weeks old...she will be fine. You will probably hear enough about how she hates you and you are ruining her life in about 16 years (unless you are completely permissive and let her do what ever she wants)....don't start worrying about it now.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Kipp on 19th January 2009

  • I firmly believe that love is quality not quantity. Your baby will know that. My daughter started daycare when she was 12 weeks old, she's now 2.5 years old. She LOVES going to "school." She loves telling me all about her teachers and what did did and what she wants to bring to school the next day. And her teachers tell me all the things she says about me. It will be a while before you're able to see this for yourself, but you'll get there. All that said, I panicked too when I dropped her off those first few days. Would they know her schedule, would they pick her up when she cried, would they be able to get her to take a bottle? We all have these feelings - you wouldn't be a good mother if you didn't. But it's going to just fine. My one practical suggestion is to give yourself enough time in the morning to get to daycare without rushing. If you're relaxed, your baby will be much more calm too. I take a shower the night before and get all our clothes ready so there's no major work to do in the morning.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by cmary on 8th January 2009

  • As one of my best friend's told me before I had my daughter nearly four year ago, "motherhood is about managing guilt and worry." Going back to work and leaving your child in someone else's care, no matter how old they are, triggers both the guilt and the worry...usually BIG time.

    Your baby or child does not determine whether you love him/her or not based on the number of hours you are with them. What's important is that when you are with them that they have pockets of time to bond with you and receive your undivided attention. Focus on the positive aspects of your child being cared for by someone else while you are at work: they get the opportunity to expand their circle of people who care for and love them, they learn that it's okay for mommy to leave and she will come back, they get to see the world through another person's perspective, you get some time out of 100% mommy mode to remind yourself that you are more than "just a mom", etc.

    With all that said, if you go back to work and are miserable because you'd really like to be home with your baby more, I would encourage you to not dismiss that dream and focus on making that dream a reality. Whether you work outside the home full-time or part-time or stay home full-time or part-time, what matters the most is how you FEEL about that decision.

    And through it all....remember to breathe....

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Nicola Ries Taggart on 8th January 2009

  • Absolutely not. I was concerned too (my daughter went into daycare at 7 weeks), but my husband always reminded me to look at how my daughter was doing. She has thrived and is a very happy almost 2 year old now. There is no question that she loves us and that we love her.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Stacey S on 6th January 2009

  • Nope. As long as she is with someone who loves her, and she feels secure, she will be fine. No one can ever take the place of mommy and daddy. No one. She will always know that you love her best of all.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Mom2Rylie on 6th January 2009

  • I'm in a similar boat as you. I will be returning to work on the 22nd when my son is almost 12 weeks old. He'll be spending the following week with his father and then after that, it's off to daycare. He's my first one, so I have no idea how I'm going to handle this!!! (Hence, I spent all afternoon reading articles online about returning to work- as if in search of the perfect answer or magic cure for this anxiety and guilt that's hovering over me!). I definitely didn't find the answer, but I must admit, it's really comforting to read about other women's similar issues and know that I am not alone. I don't have any good advice for you on this one since we will both be walking into this blindfolded, but I all I can say is enjoy every single moment that you DO have with your baby- before and after returning to work. I agree with the posting about quality vs. quantity. And I also hope that they're right when it hurts us more than it hurts our babies!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by JTM on 5th January 2009

  • Your baby will be overjoyed to see you. She will recognize your face and voice and light up. It will be much harder on you than it is on her! Remember why you are working, and what working allows you to provide for your kids. Guilt is unproductive...

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Lylah M. Alphonse on 5th January 2009

  • I am right where you are. I am returning to work this week and leaving my two year old son and 8 week old daughter. I think it is harder on me than it is on them! I believe it is the quality of time that you spend with your kids, not the quantity. Good luck to both of us and all others returning to work!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by adevun on 5th January 2009

  • absolutely not. I went back to work when my son was 8weeks and daughter was 6 weeks. There is lots of love between us.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by on 5th January 2009

  • I asked my working-mom friends this EXACT question right before I went back to work. A wise friend (with a baby 8 weeks older) told me that my baby would never forget all the nights I got up with him and all the time I was there for him - for snuggles, kisses, feedings, diaper changes - and she was right!!!!!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by DarbyMom on 5th January 2009

  • Welcome to the world of mother guilt!!! Your baby will know you love her buy the quality of the time you spend with her.

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by marathonmom on 5th January 2009

  • This question broke my heart. You love, love, love your baby and she knows that. I know it's hard to see from where you are, but it is actually easier on the baby to be away from you at this point (versus when she is older). The baby doesn't really have a sense of time, so it is kind of the same to her if you are gone 10 minutes vs. 10 hours. Heck, for all she knows, you're still around. It gets harder on her later on (3 years old was a a lot harder with the separation). Good luck!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by on 5th January 2009

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