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Full Time, All the Time

with Britt Reints

Forget the 9 to 5; Full Time, All the Time is a blog about the mobile working life - when you have the freedom to work from anywhere and the responsibility of always having your smartphone turned on. Britt Reints works as a freelance writer while traveling fulltime in an RV with her husband and two kids. She explores balancing real-life bills with an unconventional work life, and finding time to maintain relationships with family and friends.

You can also find Britt at InPursuitOfHappiness.net.

The upside of being a working mom

Categories: balance, mommy guilt, the juggle, working mom

32 comments

Ever since my son was born, I’ve fought hard to break working mom myths.  I worked harder than ever to avoid the mommy-track by keeping focused at work.  Then at home, I tried to become “Mother of the Year” by making every meal, baking birthday cupcakes from scratch, and keeping a tidy home (alright, I utterly failed on that last one). 

After suffering from balance burnout last year, I’ve started making some changes in my life.  One of those was to stop focusing on the stuff that I’m not doing (and stop feeling guilty about it) and to start thinking positive about the stuff that I do accomplish. 

The Upside to Being a Working Mom

  • Since my spouse and I both work, we have “double coverage” for our son’s health insurance.  That  means no out of pocket costs for any trips to the doctor. 
  • My son barely watches any TV and has an active imagination, thanks in part, to a play-based preschool that he attend during the day while I work. 

  • We can afford a weekly housekeeper which means that while I fail to keep a tidy house, we can still have a tidy house.
  • My spouse and I both have retirement plans and contribute to a college savings plan for our son.  Living in Silicon Valley, if we were on one income I’m not sure we could afford either.
  • My son sees both mom and dad going to work.  We are both setting a positive example and showing the fruits of our labor from getting college degrees.  My son already understands that one day he’ll have a career too. 
  • I feel better about myself when I work and financially support my family. 
  • My company pays for my BlackBerry, laptop, and internet fees.  That’s a huge savings every year. 

What about you?  What’s on your list that makes you feel good about being a working mom?



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32 comments so far...

  • Be careful with “double coverage” on health insurance, it can lead to big problems in the case of a large claim. A coworker of mine accidentally had double coverage on his kids for one month when they were switching from his ex-wife’s plan to his plan. Of course, that would be the month that the ex-wife and kids got in a major car accident. Both insurance companies tried to get out of paying for the kids’ bills, claiming that the other company was responsible. It was a nightmare to sort out.

    SoftwareMom  |  January 29th, 2009 at 5:43 pm

  • All the reasons you gave are your upsides: someone else cleans my house, I feel better about myself, my company pays for my internet.

    I wonder how your son feels about you both going to work. I really doubt he’s admiring your work ethic.

    No one loves a kid more than a parent and a big part of that is just being there. Playing, touching, reading, laughing, sharing, talking, doing things, and making messes are more important to kids than knowing they’ll have a career someday.

    Turn off your BlackBerry, woman. Go play with your kid.

    Michael Rowley  |  January 29th, 2009 at 6:47 pm

  • Wow, Michael. Wow. I don’t think Robyn indicated in any way that she *doesn’t* play with, hug, or otherwise spend time with her kids. It’s just that she works in addition to all of that.

    As for me, I’m a single mom, so my upsides are pretty basic: we can eat and I can pay the rent because I work :). BUT I really do enjoy spending time with my coworkers and putting my college degree to (direct) use. It empowers me to know that I can take care of my little family in financial ways as well as other ways.

    Just me  |  January 30th, 2009 at 10:11 am

  • Oh, please. Can someone PLEASE do a study of people who are now adults who grew up with working mothers so that we can put to rest the idea that all kids feel abandoned and deprived simpl by having a working mother? Or perhaps a study of the actual outcomes of working versus non-working mothers (controlling for other factors)? I’ve never seen any data that shows that children whose mothers work are unhappy, that they have problems in school, nor tend to be delinquent adults.

    I never, not one single time in my life felt that I wished my mom didn’t work. I’m a successful, healthy adult woman who admires and respects her mother immensely, partly due to her committment and talent in her profession as an educator–so much so that I chose to become an educator myself. Reducing one’s evaluation of good parenting to a single factor (a paid job for the mother) and ignoring all the myriad other vitally important factors that go into raising a child is beyond ridiculous. It’s ignorant, prejudiced and short-sighted.

    I know there’s not much point in saying all that because the closed-minded people who think that the ONLY way to be a good mother is to forego any paid employment are not going to listen. I know it’s a losing battle to try to get them to have any respect for anyone else. Yet I still feel the need to try.

    Everything you said (except for #3 and #7), and more, Robyn.

    Robyn  |  January 30th, 2009 at 12:13 pm

  • We actually took a family vote once about whether or not we wanted my mom to keep working or quit. We voted for her to keep working - unanimously. I love my mom dearly, but man, she is INTENSE. I can tell you that as a kid having all that intensity focused on you can be a little much. I can also tell you that I think I am a bit the same way….

    Everyone needs to make the decision that works for their family. There are certainly moms and kids for whom being separated during the day would be torture and make everyone unhappy. And unequivocally if those moms can stay home, I say that is the best decision there is. There are others for whom being together all day every day would be miserable and independence and separate experiences are a wonderful gift that makes everyone happier in the long run.

    I don’t think there is one right solution, and would never presume that my choice would work for everyone (or anyone) else. I do work full-time, and do both I and my daughter sometimes wish that I was home more - sure. However, is that most of the time, absolutely not. And, when that happens, I go pick her up early or take a day off.

    Just because I work full-time (45-50 hours a week) doesn’t mean I am not tuned into my kid and what her needs are. It does mean that I am a happier, more fulfilled and balanced person. And, at the end of the day what I want her to learn is that we all have to make choices in our lives that give us fulfillment as individuals. Since we are all individuals it is insanity to think that those choices would be the same for all of us.

    We all live with different circumstances in regards to our relationship, finances, and personal needs. I would hope that as compassionate human beings our concern for each other is that we support one another in making the choices that best suit us for those individual circumstances.

    Let’s support one another, and give each other the benefit of the doubt that we are all making the best choices we can to keep ourselves and our families healthy and happy.

    Aimers  |  January 30th, 2009 at 12:49 pm

  • There are sooooo many great things about being a working mom!
    Some great things:
    - grown up discussion with colleagues
    - using our talents
    - having nice lunches and dinners
    - traveling to amazing places and experiencing incredible things…. without paying a dime!
    - being a positive role model of doing what you feel is your purpose, to do your best, to contribute, to excel
    - good excuse to wardrobe shopping!! Shoes, suits, ahhhh clothes!
    - Most of all…. kids are happy when their parents are happy. If working makes ya happy, then ultimately that is what is most positive for the kids.

    And sooooo many things that are great about this time in history where we have the CHOICE - whether to work or not, it’s all good. It’s amazing that we have the choice and can do whatever we feel is right for us. No small feat!

    Kate  |  January 30th, 2009 at 7:10 pm

  • I love being a working mom too. Especially with a young daughter I love that I can be a positive role model for her by getting my advanced degree and doing something that I love. (This is not to say that SAHMs aren’t good role models too).

    One other benefit - with both of us working my husband has to step up and be a more involved dad. He is amazing with her. If I stayed home I know he would still try, but he would also work crazy hours.

    Stacey S  |  January 30th, 2009 at 8:44 pm

  • Thanks for this Robyn! I love all of those - - especially setting a good example! My kids also watch NO tv during the week largely because we have a fantastic former kindergarten teacher for a nanny. My kids never have separation anxiety because they’re used to us coming and going . . . and no matter how much we go they KNOW we will ALWAYS come back. I have that security blanket that if something happens to my husband, I can take care of us. I had GREAT insurance that took top notch care of my daughter when she was in and out of hospitals for 3 years. I could go on and on . . . but I am happy and my kids are happy that our whole family is happy. Works for us.

    Elaine at Lipstickdaily  |  January 30th, 2009 at 10:01 pm

  • I am getting really tired of reading comments like Michael Rowley’s on this website. For a refresher, here is a quote from the “about us” section of this site:

    “It’s not easy to juggle family and career while maintaining your own sanity. We created Work It, Mom! because we believe that having a community where working moms can share their experiences, advice, and support can make that daily juggle a bit more manageable.”

    As I understand it, this is a “safe” place for Working parents. Comments like these (and I see them everywhere - comments on Kristin D’s blog come to mind) don’t belong here. I’m not saying that you don’t have a right to voice your opinions on the appropriate forums. From what I understand of Workitmom, this is not that forum. On this site, we are supposed to be supportive of mothers who work.

    To the editors: If I continue to see these comments, this site doesn’t work for me. There are plenty of places to fight the mommy wars (at least as regards the work vs stay at home war). I thought this site was different.

    To Robyn - great post. Good for you. You are a positive role model for your child. It’s great to see that your family has made the choices that work for you.

    Mary  |  January 31st, 2009 at 12:01 am

  • I am a full time working mother as well. I LOVE my job and would not consider giving it up. We have a full time live in nanny and my kids’ grandparents live nearby and spend significant time with my girls at least 4 days every week.

    And yet… and yet… when I am home all weekend long, my kids are less whiny, seem happier and more relaxed. They are 2.5, FWIW. I wonder what they’d be like if I stayed home.

    I have no plan to stay home–I think *I’d* go insane, but I do think about it with respect to my children…

    spacegeek  |  January 31st, 2009 at 9:49 am

  • Great post, Robyn.

    @Mary — It is pretty upsetting to read anti-working mom comments or frankly, any judgmental comments on a blog. Believe me, I’ve seen my share at The Work It, Mom! Blog, which I write. But while we’re a resource and community dedicated to working moms, we can’t just go ahead and delete comments we simply don’t like (unless of course they cross the line). By being a community we open up the discussion and different viewpoints end up being expressed, not all of them supportive or positive. But we leave it up to the community to react and reply, and hope that you will.

    Nataly  |  January 31st, 2009 at 7:08 pm

  • To summarize, the upside of having both parents working:

    Robyn
    - we can afford a housekeeper
    - my company pays for my computer
    - I have no out of pocket doctor costs

    Kate
    - i have grown up discussions
    - I eat nice lunches and dinners
    - I have nice shoes

    Spacegeek
    - I will not go insane

    Aimers
    - I want my daughter to learn that we all have to make choices in our lives that give us fulfillment as individuals… and for me that’s working 50 hours a week

    I understand people need to work to support their families. I am not anti-working mom, but folks, these are pretty shallow reasons. Kids are kids for such a short time. They will grow to be old people and be old people working for a long time.

    Answer honestly, when you’re on your death bed will you say, ‘I wish I had spent more time on that spread sheet. I wish I had nicer shoes.’

    I’ll say it again, ‘Parents: Work less. Go play with your kids.’

    Michael Rowley  |  January 31st, 2009 at 8:47 pm

  • I just have to respond to Michael, despite the fact that I feel he’s intentionally trying to rile other commenters up.

    The term “working mother” does NOT emphasize working more than mother. This blog does, so that’s why the content and comments are about the positives of working.

    We working mother put our children first. Some of us work because we have to, some of us because we want to. We are, however, all mothers because we want to be. I work full time, as does my husband. There is only 1 hour of the day that my children are not in school or with one of us. We do not neglect them. My children are hugged and loved as much as yours are, and I venture a guess that this is true for all of the commenters here.

    Does being a mom mean one shouldn’t enjoy my job and value my life beyond my children? As we find the positives in our working lives, we don’t need you to judge us.

    carrie  |  January 31st, 2009 at 9:08 pm

  • @Michael - No, I think what will be thought on the deathbed is “I raised great kids and had a great, fulfilling career”. There’s nothing wrong with having both.

    Kris  |  January 31st, 2009 at 9:36 pm

  • Michael, I think you missed a few bullets in your summary, but I’m sure most of the readers on this site are capable of realizing that you are picking and choosing the summaries that suit your case.

    For me, the upside of being a working Mom is that our family has been able to continue to function after my husband lost his VP job in October 2008. He’s even been able to start up a new (hopefully successful, but no salary yet) business in this crazy economic time because of my salary and benefits (he’s a diabetic so we are essentially uninsurable in the open market).

    Karla E.  |  January 31st, 2009 at 11:50 pm

  • My mom was a working mom and I really liked it best that way. No question about it. In fact, Fridays were a bummer during the years when she only worked 4 days a week.

    My mom’s working meant so many things:

    1) I was exposed to an additional dimension of adult reality that most of my friends had no clue about.

    2) I grew up with a positive attitude toward work and careers for both sexes.

    3) I saw a model of creative balance in the home.

    4) It never occurred to me that my education might not be important.

    5) I had the opportunity to develop independence, responsibility, and problem-solving ahead of my peers.

    6) I respected my parents equally.

    7) I never wondered whether there might be any truth to the female “ability” stereotypes.

    8) My mom was in a much better mood when she had a job. She was also less picky at home since she had something else to satisfy her need for control and order. Hence, she was more approachable.

    9) We got to spend time with other caregivers instead of only being exposed to the way my mom did things. There was never any question about my mom being in charge, but it was good to experience different styles on a temporary basis.

    10) I learned about negotiation and other social skills because my siblings and I didn’t always have an adult present to break up fights, take our side in a neighborhood or school dispute, etc.

    My family was one of few with a working mom. (We were also a “working poor” family with six kids.) But we kids did a lot better than average on pretty much every measure - right up to our current relationship with our parents and siblings. The kids from my childhood who ended up as pregnant teens, criminals, dropouts - they had stay-at-home moms. Many of them don’t even speak to their parents now. I’m not saying its bad to be a SAHM, but it sure doesn’t guarantee anything.

    As a single mom, I feel good about passing the above-named benefits along to my daughters. I do not need to work, and I am not doing it to provide material benefits to my kids (other than perhaps health insurance). But their future reality is going to include working, unless they get married and pregnant at a very young age. In my view, the best way for me to help them have a happy, meaningful work life is to model it for them while they are kids.

    Michael, I’m not sure whether you are just theorizing or writing based on some particular experience, but I believe your concerns are not applicable to most kids of working moms.

    SKL  |  February 1st, 2009 at 3:34 am

  • My husband and I both work as well, (I am also an artist managing my own on-line store) and our now 1 year old son attends an amazing daycare center near my job. It is tough at times, but we make it work! It also helps when you have a supportive manager that supports family! Thank you for your article!

    Lovlee Tang
    http://www.simplylovlee.etsy.com
    http://www.simplylovlee.blogspot.com

    Lovlee  |  February 1st, 2009 at 7:03 am

  • I write this post and then step away for a weekend getaway with my family (I suppose that could be reason #8 - family trips are even more special) and see a firestorm of comments. I always love the comments - always more interesting than the post. And that is certainly the truth here.

    @Michael, I don’t take offense to you belief that I should be spending mroe time with my children. What I do have issue with in your comment, is your *command* for me to “Get off my blackberry, woman.” As if you have the right to tell me how to live my life. It sounds to me like you think woman have only one place in this world - am I safe to assume that is in the kitchen, preferrably barefoot and pregnant?

    I will not have regrets on my deathbed, although thanks for your concern. I don’t live my life with regrets and I have a wonderful child who gets a tremendous amount of time with both of his parents. To assume that working mothers are neglecting their children or not spending time with them is not only far from the truth, it also denegrades women into being only valuable for one thing: our ability to reproduce. I think we’ve come a long way from that sort of thinking.

    robynroark  |  February 2nd, 2009 at 11:00 am

  • My mom was in the US Army. After she retired from that when I was in middle school, she got a Masters and went back to work. What an inspiration she was to us!

    Some people make great SAHMs. My mom craves intelectual challenge, and in doing so constantly challenges us. She has TWO masters now, and has worked as a civilian all over the world, Including Iraq in the greenzone helping soldiers and Marines get the right gear. For her, the SAHM thing wouldn’t make her happy. Just because you have kids doesn’t mean you don’t get to be happy.

    I can’t figure out what Michael is doing hanging out on this site. I’m here because when I become a mom, I know I’ll go back to work. Michael, it sounds kinda odd to be on a working mom site and then bash it. Kinda Trollish, don’t you think? First ammendment and all, yeah, but why not go hang out elsewhere?

    TheresaG  |  February 2nd, 2009 at 11:00 am

  • Software Mom - we have the same HMO and the same insurance provider, so I’m not sure it is that same issue. But thanks for the heads-up.

    Just me - I should add the basics to my list too.

    Robyn - I agree.

    Aimers - if we took a vote, I’m sure my spouse would be hoping that we vote for him to stay home!

    Kate - those are all great reasons too. I’m glad that I have the choice to work, set my own schedule, and continue to advance myself and my family.

    Stacey S - spot on with the dads. I think it makes the practice of a partership in parenting easier when both are working.

    Elaine - so True. My son is able to roll with the punches and adapt very easily too.

    Mary - I think it can be annoying too and distract us from the real conversation. But I aslo think that a discending opinion can allow us to have a more valuable discourse.

    spacegeek - I have yet to meet a working mom who hasn’t wondered what life would be life like if she was a SAHM. The grass can always appear greener on the other side.

    Nataly - thanks for the follow-up.

    Carrie - well said.

    Kris - exactly!

    Karla - having the financial security of two incomes can help weather the storm of layoffs. I always say it can be double the risk (if we both get laid-off), but in more ways it feels like we are hedging the bet.

    SKL - love your list!

    robynroark  |  February 2nd, 2009 at 11:15 am

  • Michael must be a stay at home father. Clearly, since he exhorts the rest of us to stop working so that we can play with our children (because that’s all that stay at home parents do, naturally), he must have followed his own advice. I suppose he must live off of government assistance, then, since parents shouldn’t work. I wonder how his kids are clean, fed, and clothed since “play” is the most important thing we do as parents.

    Is that post rife with assumptions? Turn about is fair play.

    Robyn  |  February 2nd, 2009 at 12:05 pm

  • great post thank you.

    vera babayeva  |  February 2nd, 2009 at 12:27 pm

  • SKL, love your list…I see a lot of parallels in my growing up life.

    Robyn, Since the birth of my first son 10 years ago, I’ve done it all. SAHM, part time work, part/full time contractor working from home, and for the past five years a full-time working Mom.

    This is what works for my family now…LOTS of upsides for us.
    Maybe my SAHM experience was tainted by the fact that I lived in Iowa in the winter and ALL I EVER DID was play with my kids. I was starting to drive them crazy, and my husband was tired of me crying every day.

    Some of my best friends are SAHMs and they are VERY good at it…I was not. Some of my friends were great at breast feeding…I was not. Some of my friends have 5 (or 11 or 1) kids…we have two. Some of my friends have girls…we have boys. Some of my friends adopted…we didn’t.

    Families are different…and it’s up to each family to determine the “upsides.” Robyn, thanks for helping us to think about the upsides of each of our own personal situations.

    Karla E.  |  February 2nd, 2009 at 2:12 pm

  • I grew up with a working mother and always wondered why my mother only worked part time. I used to push her to further herself and her career even from a relatively young age but she never did. It always made me sad that she had to rely on my father because her part time job did not pay much. She had opportunities to advance and never took them, which to me, is not a good role model for a young girl. I also think that if you monetarily deprive your family by not working, your kids will be even more resentful of you. Kids also don’t tend to respect mothers who’s lives revolve around them and only them. When you “sacrifice” for your family, I believe that you are actually sacrificing your family. A part from that, Robyn, you live in the Silicone Valley which is crazy expensive. I can’t see how it would be possible for you to provide a decent life for your family without working.

    Oceans Mom  |  February 2nd, 2009 at 4:04 pm

  • Great article! I like everyone’s reasons. As a working mom, I like the fact that I am providing a positive role model for my two young daughters. I’ve had extended periods of time off of work and I actually feel that our family is more organized, balanced and happy when I am working. That’s not to say that there are some days that are harder than others, but I know that what I’m doing is right for me and my family.
    And to those people that think that we aren’t being truthful about how we feel about working moms, you couldn’t be more clueless.
    I knew a woman who outright refused to work, stating she was doing what was best for her kids by not working so she could be there for them all day long. She wouldn’t even work part-time. Her kids were the most misbehaved, selfish children I’ve ever seen. They had no routine, no bedtimes. Not to mention the fact that by the end of the month, they barely had enough money to feed their kids. Chew on that one, Mr. know-it-all!

    Ren  |  February 2nd, 2009 at 8:58 pm

  • I thought I would add some of my own reasons for being a working mom for Mr. Know-it-all. And I wanted to add that most of the moms that I see actually playing with their kids at parks are working moms - the SAHMs are usually sitting on the sidelines barely acknowledging their children, most likely from being burnt out from spending too much time with them.

    1) My son is learning 3 different languages (Engligh only at home, Spanish and French only at preschool)

    2) He is becoming self disciplined from having a schedule and routine

    3) He has more than one person telling him “no” in certain situations, This reinforces that mommy is not a meany, that he really can’t do certain things becuase they are mean or dangerous. It is teaching him to actually listen!

    3) It is exciting to pick my son up from school and I look forward to playing with him - I do not feel “stuck” with him, impatient with him, or feel the need for a break as the SAHM’s do.

    4) Both my son and I have made many friends from his school and he now has friends to play with on the weekends and birthday parties to attend - and let me tell you, he has a blast! He is crazy social, which is a very important life skill - and he shares.

    5) He gets to play all day long and goes to a playground 3 times a day - twice at school and once after school at their playground with me. The playground that they have there makes it very convenient for working parents to spend quality play time with their kids after school.

    6) He can count to 5, he can point to fruit on the wall at school and (try) to say which is which (he has mastered “apple”), and he can point to various body parts when I name them in both English and Spanish (I don’t know French so I can’t really follow up on that language) - he’s not even a year and a half

    Oceans Mom  |  February 3rd, 2009 at 9:54 am

  • Thanks for this post. I have a hard time finding good content
    related to this subject when searching most of the time.

    I also run a blog similar to yours and here’s part of one of my
    recent posts…

    Not all stay at home moms work, and if you have friends who don’t it can be hard for them to understand that your days aren’t free. Calls during your working time, invitations to lunch and uninvited guests can throw a wrench in your work schedule. In order to get your friends to respect your time, it’s important to make your working schedule clear to them.

    Check it out and let me know what you think…

    http://www.bushgreen.com/public_html

    Thanks,
    Isabela

    Isabela  |  February 3rd, 2009 at 11:56 am

  • The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

    Mr. Know It All  |  February 5th, 2009 at 8:19 pm

  • I am a working Mom. I saw the comment that said “nice shoes and laptops were shallow reasons to work” I have to agree. But that same person said “Parents, work less and spend time with your kids” that reminds me of another great thing about working. My husband has turned down higher paying promotions because it would entail a lot of travel and late nights, he was able to do that because I am bringing in an income as well. Does it make sense to have a SAHM at the risk of Dad having to be a work-a-holic? Also since I have a girl and a boy I love the example I am setting for them both, my daughter knows she can be whatever she wants to be and my son sees women as equal contributors to this society. I certainly respect SAHMs choice to be home too, it’s whatever works for the family, but I refuse to believe one way is better ythan another. My mom was home with us it was great but without a college degree I’m not sure she had as big of a decision to make as I did as her working salary wouldn’t have paid for childcare. I will note also although I do it gladly, I am now supporting my Mom since they did not make enough money on one salary to put money away for retirement. This is something I know I will not have to ask of my kids.

    karen  |  June 26th, 2009 at 11:47 am

  • As long as I can remember, my mama had high heeled shoes. She was quite the woman - an elementary teacher, turned college professor -

    I wanted to be an articulate, well-spoken, out-going public speaker like my mom - in high heeled shoes. She never missed our birthday - always remembered our special times together - never missed a vacation opportunity - and managed to cook breakfast and dinner each day we were home - I don’t ever remember running out of clean underwear either - I do remember the ocassional pink cusioned rollers in her black hair - the rugged handy robe and feather duster on weeknights and saturday mornings. She attended every band concert, speech competition, flagline tryout, and basketball game.

    Fast forward almost 20 years, I am that chick. In high heeled shoes.
    My mama was the example - Her standard high - I have yet to touch the high bar she set for me and my sisters - Course, I’m married with 2 and married for 15 years now - WHAT AN INSPIRATION!

    My SAHM girlfriends are educated - but have made the choice to stay home - I don’t criticize them - and I don’t think they have the right to criticize me for my choice - Yes, their homes are more tidy - Yes, they have the latest in stainless appliances and their homes smell of a tropical rain forests and baked cookies on any given day -
    Yes, their hubby’s pour in at least 6 figures annually -

    My hubby doesn’t - he doesn’t have a job - I am the breadwinner - but he also doubles as an incredible daddy and hubby -

    Am I grateful for being a working mama, yes I am at times.
    Do I get massive working mama guilt - yes, at least 30 times a day.
    I never get guilt on pay-day tho’… Wonder why?

    I’ll tell you - It’s b/c I know that that check keeps the lights on, a roof over our heads, insurance running, private school payments in tact and food in the pantry and fridge - No guilt - Pride -

    My daughter and son do not miss out on things - I am a good mother who reads to them - who cooks for them - and who keeps their clothes clean - am I tired at the end of the day? Of course -
    Am I mad b/c I have to roll out of bed each day to a career I love? Nope.

    Am I blessed to even be working and have healthy children who look up to me - for love and acceptance and nurturing? Couldn’t be better -
    For these reasons, pride outweighs the guilt by far - and yes, at times I am envious of my ’six figure earning SAHM hubby’s’ - because really, I know they wish they had my freedom too -

    I am most grateful for the life I Have - and the love that isn’t spared from my fam - Love the high heeled Tori Burch’s I wear in the day and the pink cushioned rollers that are waiting for me at night -
    Who could ask for more than that?

    LARRAH  |  August 29th, 2009 at 3:29 am

  • Who is this “Michael” and why doesn’t he just go away?

    This is not the forum for ‘him’…

    Wonder who’s supporting him? His wife perhaps? Hmmm…

    Too bad she can’t be home to take care of the ‘baby’ who needs attention in more ways than one.

    LARRAH  |  August 29th, 2009 at 3:42 am

  • I struggle with the working mom guilt all the time - not doing enough for my son, not getting enough done at work. I’m late to reading this blog, but I think Mr Rowley is only picking up on the material things mentioned. Honestly, I wanted to stay home with my son. And my husband did too. We both think our family is the most imporant thing. But that’s not reality. We have to pay our rent, our medical bills, and hopefully fund retirement plans and college savings. That’s the world we live in. We’ve found balance by finding work arrangements that allow us to both maximize time with our son while also finding lots of benefits (some of those financial) of having both of us work. I believe that a family’s arrangements are very personal - what works for one family won’t work for another. I hate the concept of mommy wars. We should support each other. Parenting is hard work - no matter what work arrangement you have.

    WorkingMom  |  September 1st, 2010 at 12:47 pm

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