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Will my baby still be as close with me?

  • My baby will be 7 weeks on Monday and I have only 1 week left before I go back to work. She will be 8 weeks, and I'm blessed I got a few extra weeks, but I am so upset about leaving. I am so worried that she won't be as close with me, and that she will think I abandoned her. I'm also afraid she will look at her daycare providers as her new "mommy's." I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that somebody else is going to do the things I do with her. I'm also worried about SIDS etc. while I'm gone. I have been in tears all week, and I really don't know how I am going to come to terms with this. I am so worried about how she is going to feel when I leave her. What if she misses me horribly all day...please offer some advice to me before I have a nervous breakdown!
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by AdriannasMommy on 2nd October 2008
  • It will be OK! While I was on maternity leave, every time I thought about leaving my daughter, my heart stopped. I was lucky enough to have family take care of her for 3 months after I went to work, then she was in daycare-still is. The day care provider is a neighbor. I dropped in on her while still on maternity leave and saw her in action. My daughter got to know her too before she went there full time. Can you go back part time for a few weeks? Call during the day when you have to. Most providers understand are happy to talk to you. She will know who you are-she won't think the provider is her mommy. She will always love you the best. It is tough, but it will be OK. You found the place for great support. Good luck!
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by ramseyquipp on 2nd October 2008
  • I know it is tough, but please don't worry, they will always know you are their mommy. Actually I love it when I pick my son up at daycare and he screams MOMMY and runs to me at the door. He is 18 months now and has been in daycare since 8 weeks. Just make sure you feel comfortable with where she is going and try to drop in unexpectedly some days to make sure she is being treated as you would like. I used to call the daycare a few times a day just to "check in" the first few weeks and that helped. Also, find a place that has a low ratio, like 4:1, that made me feel better.
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Evansmom on 2nd October 2008
  • I am having the same issues - my daughter is heading to daycare (with a woman in her home and w/ my mother-in-law) in a week, and it is hard. I thought that this being my second time around it wouldn't be that hard, but it is.

    Be sure that you give the provider all the information they need about her. What she likes to comfort her, what she doesn't, when she eats, sleeps, etc. That will make you feel better that at least they'll know that tickling her left foot calms her down when she's cranky - or whatever it is that works for you.

    Be sure to call and check in - it will calm your nerves that she isn't screaming in the background and it makes them know that you're really engaged.

    And just remember - you know where she is, you can go get her if you need to. But she will never think of someone else as Mommy! I was so worried about that - because my first daughter was in an in home day care and with my mother in law as well so the relationship were close, but she still knows who her Mommy is!

    Kids in daycare do great - they get socialized, etc. So try to relax just a little bit. You'll get through it - one day at a time!

    Flag as inappropriate Posted by ATERVIN on 2nd October 2008
  • i know how you feel! but really, they know and trust you completely - like no one else! so they know that if you are leaving them with someone, it's ok. As your baby learns who the new people are they feel comfortable there too. Remember, the baby doesn’t know any differently! Every day is new and exciting and filled with learning - this is just a new and exciting stage. you will ALWAYS ALWAYS be 'Mommy' and 110% the favorite even if you aren’t spending all your time with her.

    My son has been in daycare since he was just under 3 months old. it helps that it's onsite where my husband works (though another building) and that i *love* the teachers and the staff and environment. Now that my son is nearly 2.5 years old, i wouldn’t change a thing! and even though my hubby is the one who drops off and picks up and is home with him for a couple of hours until i get home from work - i am still the 'favorite' for everything LOL!

    she wont feel abandoned, just love her, make sure those she is with all day love her, and love yourself and everything else will fall into place.
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Kate on 13th October 2008
  • Yea I've been there but trust me. You and your baby will be fine They trust you and love you!
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by coolchick332 on 13th October 2008
  • It gets better! You will ALWAYS be the mommy. Never fear. Your child knows who mommy is. Even if (hopefully!) she comes to like and love her daycare provider, there will never be anyone who can take your place as mommy. My daughter loves "Kim" and even asks to go to her house on weekends sometimes, but it's still "MOMMY!" that she demands on a daily basis to read to her, kiss her owies, and give her good-night hugs.

    I was raised by a working mother. I never thought of anyone else as my mom. Never.
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Mom2Rylie on 14th October 2008
  • I had to leave my daughter at 7 weeks. It was hard, but she has thrived where she is. Now at 19 months she gets excited to go to 'school' and has recently gotten upset when we don't go on the weekend. They do so many fun crafts/activities etc that I wouldn't have the time for at home if I even thought of it. Starting early also helped as she got older and near the separation anxiety stage. We are only now having clingy drop offs (and she still can't wait to leave the house and go).

    I was also lucky, my daughter saved almost all her firsts for us. She is still pretty shy and is much more open at home.

    I hope it is going well for you!
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by Stacey S on 15th October 2008

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