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I Said The Wrong Thing

  • The other day dh passed a truck that was going slow on the high way. That truck proceeded to follow us off the highway. Dh obviously did not go and instead drove randomly through neighborhoods hoping the guy would eventually give in. The guy followed us for like 5 mins or more. So dh drove to our local police station which is situated by a busy connivence store. He got out and tried to figure out the guy’s problem and the guy kept shoving dh until the guy hit dh. At that point, I banged on the police door to get someone to answer. Cops came out and the guy fled. There was witnesses and everything.

    Our kids were in the car and I can’t say dh was totally innocent. He did kinda annoy the guy. After dh went around him on the highway, the gut tried to cut us off so dh refused to let him over. He even sat at a green light until it turned yellow before going. Anyway, i was upset and freaking out so I shouted at dh adking him if he’s happy now. It was wrong and I instantly regretted it. I tried to ask how dh was and he just told to f off.

    I spent the rest of the evening trying to apologize to him. He just keeps telling to me to go away and that I showed him how I really felt. Eventually I ended up going to bed because there was nothing else to do. Now he’s mad because I let him go to bed mad. It’s a no win situation! I’m so annoyed right now. The only situation is so messed up!

    Sorry this was so long. A lot happened.
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by BearxFamily12 on 31st May 2018
  • I don't necessarily think you said the wrong thing, I can't say I prob wouldn't have said worse in that instance, especially since your children were with you. Maybe your tone was harsh in that moment, maybe you said something that hurt your dh's feelings, but maybe it's what he needed to hear after acting irresponsibly and putting your lives and the lives around you in jeopardy.
    I have some of the worst road rage (I have embarrassed myself in plenty of situations bc I let my anger and not my rational side make decisions for me) but as a parent you have to take a step back and ask yourself, "would you be proud of your child if he emulated your response?"... unfortunately I have had to apologize to my dh and son on more than one occasion and to ask them to forgive me for setting a bad example.
    It sounds like emotions all-around were high and you should, in no way, be taking the blame when he was the one driving, he was the one that chose to mess with another driver to a point that the guy attacked him (I don't think it's your dh's fault for getting hit at all!!!...but he could have avoided the situation getting to that point) when he could have been the bigger person, setting a good example for your children, and using the other guys inappropriate behavior to show your children to be better than that. I'm sure that you are both great parents that love your children but even the most mature of us needs to be reminded of the effect our actions have on those we love.
    I'm sorry and I hope everything is better, I know how frustrating it is to fight with your spouse...
    Good luck
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by mabi_not on 18th June 2018
  • I agree with mabi_not. Maybe sit down and calmly explain that you were scared. I have to say though in a situation like that dh would have just let the guy cut in front of him again and he definitely would not have pissed off the guy off by sitting on the green until it turned yellow so in IMO your dh was wrong in that respect.
    Flag as inappropriate Posted by ?MPyLP? on 27th June 2018

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